Lately, I’ve seen a trend of venues and other vendors who are not wedding planners offering “day-of-coordination” as an inexpensive add-on to their packages or even including it at no charge. This seems like a big bonus to engaged couples, but is it really all it’s cracked up to be?
Here are five reasons why you should think twice before working with a coordinator from any wedding vendor other than a wedding planner.
Weddings Are No Exception to the Gendered Division of Emotional and Meta Labor
It should come as no surprise that emotional labor is part of every wedding. Weddings are centered around living up to social expectations, managing people’s feelings, and making people comfortable. I’m sure you’ve already reached the not-at-all-shocking conclusion that women are doing the majority of the emotional labor for weddings, just as in everyday work and home life.
One afternoon last summer, I was scrolling emails on my phone when a new inquiry popped up. “I think you might understand our unique situation,” it said, “Can you help us come up with a cool wedding that we will love to remember? And save my sanity???”
You see, after 17 years together, with marriage equality becoming law nationwide, Mary and Pam could finally be legally married. And like many LGBTQ+ couples, they’d believed they would never be able to get married, so they hadn’t spent any time dreaming up the perfect wedding in their heads.
Have y’all seen this video yet? I watched the first thirty seconds and my blood pressure climbed, but I committed to hearing her out
Have y’all heard of this thing called the fuck it bucket? It appears to have originated in a reddit thread, which begins: Wedding is in
Meet Hanna and Alex. These two are a shining example of a couple really staying true to themselves throughout the wedding planning process! We dissected
Sick of spending all your free time scouring internet forums for the wedding planning advice you need?
Stressing about wedding day logistics and who will handle them when you can’t do it yourself?
Wish you could work with a professional wedding planner but it’s out of budget?
Then you need a Choose Your Own Wedding planning subscription.