Aisle Less Traveled weddings
Christina and Amanda’s Glacier National Park Elopement
Amanda and Christina were planning a fall wedding in the midwest. Then COVID hit and everything changed.
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Amanda and Christina were planning a fall wedding in the midwest. Then COVID hit and everything changed.
Dramatic, hazy entrances, silent wedding vows, 234 air plants and not a white wedding gown in sight. When I say that I love planning offbeat and alternative weddings, Hazel and Jeremy’s wedding at Union/Pine in Portland is exactly the kind of party that I’m talking about. It’s been months and I still can’t get enough of the witchy vibe or their vintage, boho vision
You know how, in the business world, there’s an impossible standard for women? That one where if you’re too nice, you’re a pushover who can’t get the job done and if you’re getting shit done, you’re mislabeled aggressive and routinely called a bitch? While – at the exact same time in the exact same company – men doing the exact same things are called assertive and seen as leaders?
We have that in weddings, too. There’s an impossible standard here, but what it boils down to is this:
One of my favorite parts of this wedding was how colorful everything was. From the deeply saturated hues in their DIY flowers to their multicolor ribbon backdrop and bunting to the rainbow ribbon wands we set out for guests and the sprinkles on their cake, you couldn’t look in any direction without being smacked by colors!! The wedding party was decked out in shades of gray – the only muted color in sight – and their bold bouquets and boutonnieres really popped.
I wrote a long comment in response to a bride who was struggling to understand why her venue was only offering weekdays, Fridays, and Sundays for postponing her upcoming wedding due to COVID. And then it was literally too long for Facebook’s comment rules, so I thought I’d share it here to help anyone who is wondering the same thing. Here’s what I said to her:
The group who organized this should never have brought in a straight person to educated on the lived experiences of LGBTQ+ people. And a true LGBTQ+ ally, as this person claims to be, would never, ever accept such a speaking gig. Nor use it to plug her (paid) services, literally profiting off of the pain of LGBTQ+ people.
A true ally would say, “Thanks, but this work is already being done by LGBTQ+ folks. Here are some who could speak on this topic.”
Happy Pride to everyone except people who don’t think Black Lives Matter.
Stonewall was a fucking riot led by trans women of color. Black trans and queer lives matter and if you consider yourself an LGBTQ+ ally, you must also support the collective liberation of all oppressed people, which absolutely includes Black, Indigenous, and People of Color who are also LGBTQ+.
A number of years ago, I happened upon this TED Talk and I was absolutely struck by the line Kim Katrin Milan delivers after describing some of the unconventional choices they made for their city hall wedding:
“The gift of queerness is options.”
This line has been on repeat in my brain ever since. I’ve long thought that we LGBTQ+ folks are privileged in a way by not having wedding traditions and gender roles defined for us by generations past. And I’ve believed for just as long that straight folks are, unfortunately, deprived of this experience; but I’d never heard it summed up so succinctly or perfectly before.
Q. Coronavirus forced us to postpone or cancel our wedding. Why are our vendors charging us fees and refusing to give refunds?
A. Oof, y’all. I know. The universe is completely fucking unfair right now. Not only are you stuck at home, all day every day with your partner, trying to work in an uncomfortable chair at your dining room table, but now you have to reschedule the wedding you’ve been planning for a year.
The spread of coronavirus has reached a point where it is now inevitable that many weddings will be affected. Here are a wedding planner’s thoughts on the possible effects, outcomes, and paths forward for wedding planning during this unprecedented situation.
Sick of spending all your free time scouring internet forums for the wedding planning advice you need?
Stressing about wedding day logistics and who will handle them when you can’t do it yourself?
Wish you could work with a professional wedding planner but it’s out of budget?
Alt+Ctrl+Wed™ is a self-paced virtual program packed with planning advice, how to instructions, exclusive discounts, and all of the checklists, spreadsheets, and templates you need to get your wedding planned.
Plus, ask me and my team of wedding planners absolutely anything and get our personal support with every part of planning through our private Discord community.
Alt+Ctrl+Wed™ is offered on a sliding scale starting at just $297 for access as long as you needed.
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