Latest Posts from the Aisle Less Traveled Blog

Bridezilla is Just Another Word for Bitch

You know how, in the business world, there’s an impossible standard for women? That one where if you’re too nice, you’re a pushover who can’t get the job done and if you’re getting shit done, you’re mislabeled aggressive and routinely called a bitch? While – at the exact same time in the exact same company – men doing the exact same things are called assertive and seen as leaders?

We have that in weddings, too. There’s an impossible standard here, but what it boils down to is this:

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COVID & Weddings & Contracts & Rescheduling

I wrote a long comment in response to a bride who was struggling to understand why her venue was only offering weekdays, Fridays, and Sundays for postponing her upcoming wedding due to COVID. And then it was literally too long for Facebook’s comment rules, so I thought I’d share it here to help anyone who is wondering the same thing. Here’s what I said to her:

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Straight people do not get to educate on and profit from LGBTQ+ people's lived experiences.

If You Are Not LGBTQ+, You Don’t Get to Educate on LGBTQ+ Inclusivity

The group who organized this should never have brought in a straight person to educated on the lived experiences of LGBTQ+ people. And a true LGBTQ+ ally, as this person claims to be, would never, ever accept such a speaking gig. Nor use it to plug her (paid) services, literally profiting off of the pain of LGBTQ+ people.

A true ally would say, “Thanks, but this work is already being done by LGBTQ+ folks. Here are some who could speak on this topic.”

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Stonewall was a Riot and Black Lives Matter

Happy Pride to everyone except people who don’t think Black Lives Matter.

Stonewall was a fucking riot led by trans women of color. Black trans and queer lives matter and if you consider yourself an LGBTQ+ ally, you must also support the collective liberation of all oppressed people, which absolutely includes Black, Indigenous, and People of Color who are also LGBTQ+.

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The Gift of Queerness

A number of years ago, I happened upon this TED Talk and I was absolutely struck by the line Kim Katrin Milan delivers after describing some of the unconventional choices they made for their city hall wedding:
“The gift of queerness is options.”

This line has been on repeat in my brain ever since. I’ve long thought that we LGBTQ+ folks are privileged in a way by not having wedding traditions and gender roles defined for us by generations past. And I’ve believed for just as long that straight folks are, unfortunately, deprived of this experience; but I’d never heard it summed up so succinctly or perfectly before.

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Q. Coronavirus forced us to postpone or cancel our wedding. Why are our vendors charging us fees and refusing to give refunds?

Q. Coronavirus forced us to postpone or cancel our wedding. Why are our vendors charging us fees and refusing to give refunds?
A. Oof, y’all. I know. The universe is completely fucking unfair right now. Not only are you stuck at home, all day every day with your partner, trying to work in an uncomfortable chair at your dining room table, but now you have to reschedule the wedding you’ve been planning for a year.

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Coronavirus and Your Wedding

The spread of coronavirus has reached a point where it is now inevitable that many weddings will be affected. Here are a wedding planner’s thoughts on the possible effects, outcomes, and paths forward for wedding planning during this unprecedented situation.

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You'll have time to eat with a professional wedding planner managing your day.

5 Reasons You Should Skip the Affordable “Wedding Coordinator” Your Venue Offers

Lately, I’ve seen a trend of venues and other vendors who are not wedding planners offering “day-of-coordination” as an inexpensive add-on to their packages or even including it at no charge. This seems like a big bonus to engaged couples, but is it really all it’s cracked up to be?

Here are five reasons why you should think twice before working with a coordinator from any wedding vendor other than a wedding planner.

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Women, Weddings, and Emotional Labor

Weddings Are No Exception to the Gendered Division of Emotional and Meta Labor
It should come as no surprise that emotional labor is part of every wedding. Weddings are centered around living up to social expectations, managing people’s feelings, and making people comfortable. I’m sure you’ve already reached the not-at-all-shocking conclusion that women are doing the majority of the emotional labor for weddings, just as in everyday work and home life.

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Wedding Planning Subscriptions

Sick of spending all your free time scouring internet forums for the wedding planning advice you need?

Stressing about wedding day logistics and who will handle them when you can’t do it yourself?

Wish you could work with a professional wedding planner but it’s out of budget?

Then you need a Choose Your Own Wedding planning subscription.

The Super Gay Wedding Podcast

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Cindy Savage | Aisle Less Traveled

Cindy Savage | Aisle Less Traveled

Cindy Savage is the queer, feminist wedding planner behind Aisle Less Traveled and the co-creator/co-host of the Super Gay Wedding podcast. When she's not busy planning unique and creative weddings for the absolute best couples around, she can usually be found wearing stretchy pants with her nose in a book and a glass of wine in hand. She currently lives in Seattle with her partner and an assortment of small houseplants.